Coping with the Holidays

By Veronika Glenn, Director of Education and Training for Southern Caregiver Resource Center (SCRC) and Chair for the San Diego Caregiver Coalition

Give yourself permission to have fun, you do not need to feel guilty if you find enjoyment, it does not mean that you have abandoned your duty as a caregiver.

The holidays can bring up so many emotions: depression, loneliness, anger, nervousness and fear. Talking about it with a trusted friend will help.

Decide what you can handle and let your family know. Your family can then fill in the rest, and, this year you can be the guest.

Share memories, pictures, stories and care for each other. By doing so, young people will learn about their family's history and you are making time for your spouse or parent, your children and/or grandchildren who are making memories at the time you struggle being caregiver.

When you're tired everything is worse. Give yourself permission to simplify or skip the holiday preparations this year. Remember that often the anticipation of stress and problems is worse then the actual outcome. So don't generalize too much. Think about the one thing that would bring you joy and make certain that wish is fulfilled.

Then every gift will be a joy that will fill your heart. Laughter and joy are part of life, as is the grief of dealing with a loved one's illness. Do not retreat, but reach out to other family members, as they feel the pain too. Be aware of your internal and external dialog, because our expectations and intentions are often met. Be good to yourself and look out for your health this Holiday season.

Happy Holidays!

The Southern Caregiver Resource Center (SCRC) offers services to family caregivers in San Diego and Imperial counties, who provide care to adults with chronic and disabling conditions. Most services are at no charge and include: specialized information, short-term counseling, family consultation and case management, legal and financial consultation, respite care, education and training, support groups and walking groups, Link2Care internet site, the Caregiver-to-Caregiver Network and 'A Space of Beauty' caregiver journals program. For addition information about any of these programs, please call the SCRC at (800) 827-1008 and ask to speak to a Family Consultant. We care for those who care for others.