Hope for Healing in the New Year

The holidays are a special time for appreciating those who have made an impact on our lives. It can be a difficult time if you are experiencing the loss of someone special to you.

Remember that there is no right or wrong way to approach the holidays when you are dealing with grief. Don't be afraid to make changes this year. Sometimes it can be very stressful to keep up with "holiday traditions" when a loved one has died.

Whatever you choose to do this year may be different next year, and that's okay.

Although it is natural to feel alone in your grief and to try to isolate yourself, you may find comfort by enjoying those people who are still with you. The support of your children, spouse, and other loved ones can nourish you and help you all begin to heal.

Holidays can impact the whole family and cause grief from years ago to resurface. Family rituals can help all of you gain some control, provide a way to cope with your feelings, and help with your healing process into the new year.

Here are some examples of rituals to try:

• Select a favorite picture of your loved one, light a candle and add some flowers.
• If you find comfort in your faith, visit the church or say a meaningful prayer.
• Share your loved one's history and legacy with members of the family by creating a memory book
• Plan a special dinner where family members prepare your loved one's favorite food and share stories
• Invite family members to make a holiday card and take it to the cemetery.
• Plant a special plant, bush, or tree in memory of your loved one.
• Place a special decoration in your home in memory of your loved one.
• Donate money to a charity or cause that had special meaning to your loved one.
• Give jewelry, clothing, or other item that belonged to your loved one to someone special.
• Reminisce with photo albums and mementos about special times from the past.

What many people need after a significant loss is the support of caring loved ones, family, and friends. It helps to know what resources are available in the community so individuals can take advantage of needed services when they are ready.

Know that having strong emotions at this time is normal, although sometimes it can feel overwhelming. If you find that you need to speak to someone outside the family, the Center for Grief Care and Education at San Diego Hospice & Palliative Care offers support and services to help.

For more information on counseling services offered through the Center for Grief Care and Education, please call 619-278-6480 or visit www.sdhospice.org. Services are available in English or Spanish.